Wednesday, March 28, 2007
still waiting for you .
1 : mie n my sister .
2 : mie n my darling
3 : mie n hubby first photo
4 : my baobei darling
todae is another day again . but is still so boring . wake up n come to work . i work at internet cafe . bt mostly oso no ppl de . so im gg to slack n rot to death lo . lols . i so boring so i came to type my blog out . i tink todae im gg to roughly tell wad happen to mie tis two yrs ......
ard mar of 2004 i met my ex hubby (fulong) we get together on 30 of mar 2004 . tat time i was like a xin fu nu ren being loved by him . we gt lots of beautiful memories . & i realise tat i wan to settle down n haf my own happie family . so we decided to married n haf a fruit of our love .so i got pregnant ard june . its was too shocking n surprise for us . so we told my family n his family . tat we wanted tis child . at first my father was askin mie to abort it . i was wondering shld i reali abort it . tat time i reali gt tat tinkin of abortin tis child . becos after i gt pregnant i quarrelled alot wif him so i was tinkin to abort it . until one dae i went for ultra scan n check up . tat is the first time i saw my baby moved in my stomach . i n him was so happie tat our tears drop automatically . tat time i was ard 4 mth plus pregnant . n tat is the first time i wen for ultra scan . we saw our baby little hand moving like waving to us tellin us nt to abort her . we was like tinkin inside my tummy is a life . i shld'nt abort it . no matter hw hard is it , or hw mani ups n downs we r gg thru i mus haf tis child . so we decided to gif birth . my ex hubby hse was one rm one flat . so it will be veri inconvinent for mie to move in to his hse . so for the time being he stay in my hse . until i haf given birth n haf saving den we moved out . tat time i n him gt case , for being headman/woman n fighting . we nearly went to jail . bt our officer gif us chance cos he sae im pregnant gg to haf a family le . so he decided to gif mie warning . n dey gif him ps (police supervision) ned to reach home by 7pm everyday . and our life jus get on like tis . we didnt get married or watsoever . cos tat time i was underage . so our parents decided tat after i haf given birth le den get R.O.M n wedding dinner . during my prenancy i oso gt alot of dispute wif him . he was like onli noe hw to play computer onli . my baobei wad born into tis world on 2 of mar 2005 , at 8:04am , weighing 3.65kg n 50 cm . we given her name as LOWELL TAN LI XUAN . i wad induced birth . my actual due date is on 16 of mar . bt my gayne sae tat my baby was too big i cant wait till due date . if i wait til due date my baby gg to weigh at 4 kg . he tink i might nt haf the strength to push her out bt to haf operation . so i decided to induced birth lo . the doctor ard 4 to 5 pm on 1 of mar 2005 insert a kind of medicine to let it open . den i went hm to haf my dinner n bathed to wait for my stomach to pain . bt if it doesn't hurt at all i mus went to the hospital at 10 pm at nite .so i went in ard 10 . den my gayne came at 11pm . he forced to break my water bag . my water bag broke at 11 pm . den i still haf to wait til it had open til 3 cm ba i tink .(cos it was like two yrs back le . i can onli roughly sae it out .)den my stomach started to pain ard 6 plus gg to 7am . the nurse cal the doctor to come frm his hm , while waiting for the doctor to come the nurse teach mie hw to push . i push arg 3 to 4 time the nurse sae can alreadi c my baby hair . so she ask mie to stop . cos i mus wait for my gayne to come if nt i cant push my baby out . so i was like shit . i wanna one breath n push it out le . n euu ask mie to stop . den my doctor came at 7:56am ba . den he check everything n he ask mie to push two time den my baby is out . my daughter was born at 8:04am . hees . by tat time i was so exhausted le . i don even haf the strength to carry my little one . den the nurse clean her le n put in my arms . i looked into my baby i was like so happie n unbelieveable tat i actually did it . hees . i was reali veri happie . i stay in the hospital for 2 days 1 nite . my mother helped mie in my confinement . after my confinement i take care of my baby alone until my baby 1 yrs old . exactly after 1 week after my baby 1 yrs old birthdae i found out tat my hubby fall in love wif my brother(didi) gf . n their r together so i broke up wif him since den . i did reconsider alot of times cos of baby n oso becos i reali love him . bt i reali cannt take it tat he actually like my brother gf . after he leave my hse i was alone in the room wif my baby onli . i cried ..... i cried non stop i reali cant stop cryin cos the pain is reali too unbearable . the cut in my heart is too deep le . i c my baby is like i was lookin at her father . cos she reali too look alike wif him le . i was suddenly feeling so lost n 空虚 . i reali break down reali feel like ending my life jus once n for all . bt i jus cant leave my baobei . so i hang on n continue my life . and him , after he leave my hse he gt together wif the girl (i shall not mention the name ) n often don wan to go hm , bt he gt ps (police supervision) ned to reach hm by 7pm . he didn't , one day finally he was being caught nt at home . n his sentence is 1 yr in jail . he went in jail ard july of 2006 . until recently den he jus came out . he came out on 10 of mar 2007 . i haf alreadi forgiven him n the girl .we nw r still frens . sometimes i oso tinkin to myself my heart is reali tat big until i can forgive dem . hais . bt to mie i tink jus let bygones by bygones ba . cos aniwaes no matter wad he is still the father of my child mahs . den i get together wif my current bf on 12 of aug 2006 . i haf noe him for ard 1 yrs plus le ba be4 we was together . until one day we get together . hahas . until i met him i realise im nt alone . i still haf him . even though we sometimes haf some dispute , which couples don haf dispute de . rite ? we r still loving . i reali love him alot . i reali hope he is nt another guy tat hurt mie de ba .. my ex hubby came out frm jail he haf broken up wif the ger . n he told mie tat he is regret for wad he had done last time . due to his 小的时后不会想. his heart still haf mie . bt i told him i cant cos i gt a bf tat love mie n dote mie so much i cant go back to him . he reali change alot . bt nw i gt my own happiness le i oso hope he can find his own happiness . even though if i get back to him i can gif my baby a happie family . bt i reali scared he will hurt mie the second time . i don haf the courage to face it . so let natural take its course lo . i hope i n my current hubby can haf a eternity love ba !!! i reali envy those haf wore wedding dress n haf a wedding cos i haf given birth n my daughter was 2 yrs old plus le i haf yet wear it be4 . hais . i tink tats all for my post ba . but later on tonite den i will update on wad i haf done todae . wad did i type for todae is to let euu ppl get to more understand mie . n my life for tis few yrs . lols . kks . gtg le . tata . miss ya .. ("\(^_^)/")
llots of love !!!
11am ...
♥ ♥ ♥
2:49 AM